There was this one time when I had to hug a tree...

Uh…. Where Was I Going With That?

            I’ve been meaning to write something funny and cool and witty and slightly thought provoking for a while now, and I haven’t come up with anything. So I’m writing this instead! For your reading pleasures, I present to you the pet peeves I have for online dating.

1. Misspelled words

I really shouldn’t have to go into any detail about this. If you spell the word where like the word were, It’s an automatic turn off for me. Don’t get me wrong, every guy likes to think he is the more knowledgeable in the relationship. But I really don’t need painful (yes for me it literally causes pain) reminders that I am. I promise that I don’t find it cute when you write me a message that says “hey, Ur totaly cute! We shuld go out oooook?!” ß----- See what I mean? Not cute! Btw I almost shot myself in the head writing that example for you.

2. False Advertising

To all you girls who do the angles, PLEASE STOP! Look, this is 2011, not 2004. We all know what “the angles” look like. If you are a little bigger, just own it. Because if you do end up getting someone to go on a date with you; I can tell you that he sure as sh** is going to notice your body, yes all of it, when you are on said date. This is not the only form of false advertisement though. The next most common one I encounter is girls who say they like to listen to every kind of music. LIES! Most commonly this statement can be interpreted as “I like everything on the radio”. If these girls knew what the HAIL they were talking about, then some of my favorite bands would have a much better turn out at their shows when they come to town.

3.   Over/under-confidence

The reason I hate this so much is because it just rubs me the wrong way. To the girls out there who write sentences on their profiles that read something like “I am a great, awesome, loving, super fantastic girl and you would be lucky to ever even get to hear me breathe”. Get over yourself. I am not doubting that you posses any of the traits you so modestly advertise. But guess what sweetiepie, 7 out of 10 of you girls seem to think that about yourselves. The under-confidence issue is straight forward about why it bothers me. It’s just a huge turn off. Anyway, back to the over-confidence thing. The other thing I notice that about 4 of 5 girls put on their profile? “I have a huge heart and sometimes I think I care too much, and I have been hurt because of this in the past”. Boo-frackin-hoo, I promise your heart isn’t as big as you think it is.

So that is my rant about online dating. If you couldn’t tell, it has been getting on my nerves lately. Until next time!